Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
