You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
