See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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