all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
