I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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