I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I won't apologize to a one balled man
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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