Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm sobbing to NWA
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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