it wasn't lemon gatorade
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
