Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
