RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
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