Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
