the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
