I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize