dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
