not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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