How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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