So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
