the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
