you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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