Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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