is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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