They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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