new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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