I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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