i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
