She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
