You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
