the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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