hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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