Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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