i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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