guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
