apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
