So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
