My friends, they love my intelligence
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
