Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
