i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
