we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
