Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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