where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize