Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
