I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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