the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
