i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
