If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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