nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
