Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
