pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize