so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
