im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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