quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
