Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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