you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
