Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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