Can Purell be used as lube?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize