doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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