obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
