TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
